For a few weeks my family has been going through a really really tough time. My husband began having some major health issues that caused him several visits to the ER and consequently have not allowed him to work for several weeks. Things have begun to calm down but he still is unable to work and the future looks very unclear in terms of income. We have a mortgage, utilities, a car payment, medical bills, and three kids to feed and clothe. Not too mention that I was in the middle of rehearsals for opening our show Sweatpants and High Heels at the diva fest this past weekend. I should be losing my mind right now.
I’ve shed tears and spent many nights in prayer asking God for direction and strength. I asked the question “why” to God but I quickly changed it to “what are we supposed to learn?” When you’ve been around the block a few times you learn that “why?” really doesn’t get you far. But opening your heart to hear what God is saying through the circumstances moves you forward. However I have learned that sometimes God is merciful in allowing adversity to come into our lives. I feel as though God forced us to stop and think about the direction we were going in terms of work. He caused us to regroup about our relationship and family. He guided us back to what is important in life rather than what we as humans deem as important. Most importantly I’ve learned that going through adversity and seeing lack in finances gives you a chance to see God provide your needs. Seriously. I’m grateful now because I’ve had a chance to see Jesus in our families, church family, in our friends as they have reached out with kind words, visits, phone calls, groceries and even monetary gifts to help us get through this period. I’m overwhelmed at the love of God shown through those around me. I feel cradled in His arms of love. I know it sounds cheesy and unreal but it is really happening to my family. I’m not saying all is peachy but I’ve seen what walking by faith and not by sight really means now. We talked about me going back to work and right now I felt that working would have added stress to my family. I was needed to drive, cook, take care of the kids and continue rehearsing. While praying I felt that God was saying wait. I still looked online for work and thought about what I could do at home to bring in income but I didn’t have any peace. Peace came when I submitted. But little did I know that God had provisions waiting for us. To date we have been blessed with gifts that have filled the gap for this month! I think of how God provided for the Israelites in the desert each day with manna from heaven. It takes faith to live day by day leaning on God to supply your needs. But He said He would and so He must because He cannot lie.
To witness God work in your life is an amazing thing. To have Him touch your life through others is such a blessing and encouragement in dark times. God is real and right now we are making it only because of Him.
I hope that you are encouraged by me sharing this. May God bless you and give you faith to lean on Him for your needs.