Photographer: Jay Brazel
I’ve been feeling so blue for the past few months. It has been an unexpectedly hard year. I suppose most hard times are unexpected. We’ve dealt with serious illness, lost income, ministry challenges, car accidents, injury, etc. Stuff that everyone deals with. It’s just that we haven’t had a break and it started to really get to me. It was getting to my mind, my thoughts, my outlook on life, confidence in myself and my daily attitude. I was frustrated because I generally do struggle with feeling down alot and I didn’t need these extra stressors in my life.
A few weeks ago I just broke down. I couldn’t take the stress. I’ll admit. I threw a HUGE pity party! Attendance: me. Games: BYOT (Bring your own Tissue)
That Sunday when we woke up late for church and decided to head to our sister church’s service instead since we could make that one relatively on time. Boy was it a blessing! I felt like the message was for me. The pastor spoke about dealing with the twin realities of God’s goodness and life’s troubles. Ever struggle with that one?
What I learned was that I was focusing too much on my circumstances and less on who God is. I KNEW that we’re not supposed to do that. I KNEW that God is good not matter what… but why was it so hard in the midst of these trials to trust Him? I have to admit I was asking God “why this was happening?” a lot. Along with the good ole’ “What was He trying to teach me?”. I happen to think that it’s okay to ask God “why” as long as you really want to learn from the answer.
Here’s the thing I learned:
1. Who God is IS NOT DEFINED by Life’s Circumstances
in other words…
2. God is who He says He is, not who we think He is
3. We can bless God in the midst of challenges because we are enthralled with the beauty of who God is and not because of what is happening around us. He never changes.
So I got my answer and I’m thus (yes I said thus) grateful for these past challenges. It showed me that even though the rainstorm and the clouds hover over us, the secret to keeping Sonshine in our hearts is to bless God for who He is and not not focus on the ever changing circumstances of life.
I still have to remind myself every day (every hour of the day) to bless God when my feelings dip, but it is freeing to know I can coax a lighter heart into my chest by refocusing on who God is.
Here is the link to that sermon.